Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Coming in 2012...

Take up the White Man's burden--
Send forth the best ye breed--
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives' need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild--
Your new-caught, sullen peoples,
Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden--
In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another's profit,
And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden--
The savage wars of peace--
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man's burden--
No tawdry rule of kings,
But toil of serf and sweeper--
The tale of common things.
The ports ye shall not enter,
The roads ye shall not tread,
Go mark them with your living,
And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden--
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard--
The cry of hosts ye humour
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light:--
"Why brought he us from bondage,
Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden--
Ye dare not stoop to less--
Nor call too loud on Freedom
To cloke your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden--
Have done with childish days--
The lightly proferred laurel,
The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood
Through all the thankless years
Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom,
The judgment of your peers!

coming soon...
a new musical reminder about just how terrible white people are


The Gentiles want to thank everyone who came to check out their performances of TWINS.  We had so much fun making everyone laugh, and the three audiences were so enthusiastic about the show.  We also want to send out a specail thanks to a few folks who helped out.  We couldn't have done it without their help.

Dee Fabbricatore
Kristina Felski
Brian McGovern
Becca Taubel
ComedySportz Theater
Second City Training Center
Sarpino's Pizza
Viewers Like You!

Friday, September 9, 2011

WBEZ features The Gentiles' TWINS

HomeJonathan Abarbanel, theater critic for WBEZ, gave a shout-out to TWINS this past weekend.
"We don't know if this sublime or ridiculous, but be prepared for Twins: A 9/11 Musical, offered by The Gentiles at Studio Be (3110 N. Sheffield), Sunday only at 7PM and 9PM. Say authors Brad Einstein and Zach Zimmerman (who also perform the work), the show "looks back on that fateful day to realize the terrorists weren't the only scumbags. From an egomaniacal flag manufacturer to a dog-punching first responder, Twins finds the comedy that was silenced in this holy moment of tragedy." 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

TWINS is Reader Recommended!

The Chicago Reader recommended seeing TWINS in their print and online publication.  Tony Adler writes, "In what may be a sign either of healing or deepening pathology, there are several 9/11 comedies on tap for the anniversary.....Two-man improv/sketch troupe the Gentiles looks at unsung "scumbags" in Twins: A 9/11 Musical Revue (Sun 9/11, 7 and 9 PM, Studio Be, 3110 N. Sheffield,, $10).

Complete article here:

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

TWINS selected as a Must-See Pick!

Centerstage Chicago described TWINS as a Must-See Pick.  They write, "It's the tenth anniversarry of 9/11. Must we? In the midst of all the serious plays about the Middle East, and all the personal-is-political family dramas, Gentiles Comedy is throwing up a satirical musical comedy revue. It could be an offensive disaster or just the salve for our decade-old wounds. However, the presence of Baby Wants Candy vets (and the fact that 20% of proceeds will go to the National 9/11 Memorial & Museum) gives us hope for the latter."

You can check out the complete article here:

Monday, August 15, 2011

TWINS: a 9/11 musical revue

It's been ten years - time for a musical!  The Gentiles present TWINS: A 9/11 MUSICAL REVUE, which looks back on that fateful day to realize the terrorists weren't the only scumbags.  From an egomaniacal flag manufacturer to a dog-punching first responder, TWINS finds the comedy that was silenced in this holy moment of tragedy.  Written and performed by Brad Einstein (Baby Wants Candy, ComedySportz) and Zach Zimmerman (Mission IMPROVable) with musical direction by Ben McFadden (Baby Wants Candy), TWINS is one show you'll remember to never forget.

20% of proceeds will be donated to the National 9/11 Memorial & Museum

Thursday, August 11, 2011

About The Gentiles

Hi, we're The Gentiles.  Thanks for visiting our site.  You found us because you were looking for a hilarious Chicago comedy group or you were researching how to annihilate God's non-chosen people.  We hope it's the former.

We specialize in high-energy live performances of improv, sketch, and musical comedy, with occassionaly forays into film and video.  If you'd like to be added to our mailing list, send an e-mail to with "WE LOVE YOU" in the subject line.  If you'd like to inquire about hiring us to write or perform at your next event, send an e-mail to with "WE LOVE AND WILL PAY YOU" in the subject line.  E-mail often.  We like getting e-mails.

Below is a little more about the creative folks involved with The Gentiles.  The bios are a little douchey.

Brad Einstein (Writer, Performer) hails from Kennett Square Pennsylvania.  After moving to Chicago a year ago, he has performed with Baby Wants Candy, ComedySportz Theatre Chicago, and this fall will be performing with the Second City on the NCL Epic.  He has studied improvisation at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Second City, iO, and the Annoyance.  Recently, he wrote and performed in the TimeOut and Reader-recommended "Please Love Me, High School Boyfriend" for the Chicago Fringe Festival.  Credits include Haterade (iO), Coed Prison Sluts (Annoyance), Please Love Me, High School Boyfriend  (Chicago Fringe Festival), Full Ammo Improv (Penn State) Del Close Marathon (UCB), The World College Comedy Festival, Baltimore Improv Festival, and Improv Phd (Philly Improv Theater).

Zach Zimmerman (Writer, Performer), a Virginia native, is an actor and writer in Chicago.  He performs with RECESS (Playground), Thirsty: Chicago’s Premier Improv Drinking Party, Theater Momentum, and the Mission IMPROVable National Touring Company.  He has studied improvisation at iO and The Second City and is a graduate of Princeton University, where he served as the head writer for the musical comedy troupe Princeton Triangle Club and was the Artistic Director of Quipfire! Improv Comedy.  Chicago credits include Fuck You, I Love You, Bye! The Rahm Emanuel Story (Annoyance), Stevie Wonderland (Donny’s Skybox at Second City), Joe Janes’ 50Plays (Strawdog Theater), Traveltastik (Studio Be), and The Formula (Gorilla Tango Theater).

Ben McFadden (Music Director) is a musician and composer from New Jersey.   He currently lives in Chicago where he plays keyboard and music directs for sketch and improv comedy troupes, including Baby Wants Candy: The Completely Improvised Musical.  When he's not music directing, you can find him writing and recording pop music under the name McFabulous.